I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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