Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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