Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
