i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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