He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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