Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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