my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
