mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
