You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
