she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
