Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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