My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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