Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
