yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I need to calm my uterus...
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Randomize
