Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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