we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
