I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
