so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Randomize
