so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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