Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Randomize
