chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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