Redeem this text for a blowjob
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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