My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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