i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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