just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
