You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
