I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
