I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize
