what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
