If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
