...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
