Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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