Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
