I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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