Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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