what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
