Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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