Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
