You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
