what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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