Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
