I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
