I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
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