walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
