I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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