you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
