My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
