She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
