You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
