smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
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