but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Panties = found
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