Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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