just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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