There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
