You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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