Me too!
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Randomize
