A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
he was CRYING into my vagina
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
