i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
